Category: A Little Bit Of Humor

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Lies I Told Myself Over Spring Break

by Jody March 24, 2018

I really love Spring Break, don’t you??

Now that it’s over and life has gotten back into the normal routine, I decided to reflect over this Spring Break just to see how productive it was.  I mean, that’s what it’s for, right?  Being Productive?

All year long I feel burdened down with stuff to do, so I look forward to breaks like these to give me a change to get caught up on things that need my attention, but don’t always get it.  So I wanted to see how well I’d done this time around.

Turns out, not so good.  In fact, I was a Big Fat Liar.  I lied to myself ALL OVER THE PLACE.

Here are my biggest lies:

I will not waste this Spring Break.

And a big one at that.  It was the beginning of all lies.

 

We will have plenty of time to work on the yard.

We usually host Easter at our house.  We also usually don’t do a lot of yard work until Easter rolls around.  I just knew that I would get so much work done outside to get ready for Easter.

We had plenty of time, I just didn’t do anything.  And so now we are scrambling to get it all done.  Like usual.

 

I will schedule all of my posts and blogs for the next few weeks.

I won’t actually tell you how far behind I am on this.  Let’s just say, I’m trusting in the Lord’s provision.

 

I can spend so much time with the girls!

Not so much.  They were gone nearly everyday with friends or family.  Which I totally love!!  We are SO BLESSED to have such loving and kind family that comes to dote on my girls, but I don’t think I even saw them for a full 24 hours the entire Spring Break.

 

I’m going to go for a walk everyday!

I don’t think I’ve been on a walk since before Spring Break even began, much less everyday.  Who did I think I was kidding???

 

I will finish creating my latest journal and get it sent in for review.

That surely didn’t happen.  It still hasn’t happened.  But I am getting closer.  So, So close…

 

We can take the girls to a family movie.

As I said, we barely even saw those little stinkers!  I really did want to take them to see a family movie, we just never had the opportunity!  Does that count as a lie??

 

And the BIGGEST LIE OF THEM ALL??  The LIE TO END ALL LIES???

 

I can finally get caught up on all of the housework.

And I didn’t do a single one of them.  No Dusting.  No Mopping.  No Marathon of Laundry.  NO NOTHING.

Y’all, I really did have good intentions.  I wanted to get all of those things done, but when the temptation to sleep in, sit and relax, stay up late, and binge watch my favorite show comes around, it looks like I’m just too weak to stand up to it.

I’m hoping for better results come summer…

-Blessings!

A Little Bit Of Humor , , ,

Can’t I Just Have A Burger?

by Jody March 8, 2018

So apparently, over the winter, my house was broken into.

Nothing was stolen, but the culprit did something even more heinous.  They got into my closet and shrunk all of my clothes.  All of my capris and t-shirts to be more specific.  Can you believe the nerve of some people?!

Since I do not have the funds to completely re-purchase all of my clothing, I decided to do the only other thing I could think of: Pray.

Well, that plus diet & exercise.

It hasn’t been easy, folks.  In fact, some days are down-right hard.  I even find myself saying some of the same things over and over again on this journey to reclaim my clothing.  And I figured that misery loves company so I thought I’d share a few of my favorite excuses.

1. It’s not my fault it’s so delicious.

2. But I need a fruit punch.

3. Oh yay.  Salad.

4. Didn’t God tell Peter that all food was clean?

5. I’m too tired to be active.

6. I’m pretty sure that I deserve that roll.  Maybe even two.

7. No, I need food.

8. It’s too cold to be outside.  Too wet?  Too windy?  What can I come up with that keeps me from going outside?

9. Nope.  I’m going to eat all of this.

10. Oh look.  More salad.

11. No more processed food!  Well, maybe just this one…

12. Look.  The more I walk, the more my leg hurts.  I think God’s trying to tell me to cool it with the walking.

13. That is rabbit food!  I’m a person!

14. We should probably go ahead and eat up all the rest of this bad stuff, and then I just won’t buy anymore.

15. It might be easier to go ahead and buy more clothes at this point.

16. Coffee doesn’t count.  Does it?!

And since none of those are working, I guess I’ll keep on praying.  Maybe I’ll even keep on dieting and exercising too, but that’s a BIG maybe…

-Blessings!

A Little Bit Of Humor , , ,

#FriendsAreImportant

by Jody March 2, 2018

Turns out, friends really are important.

Some time back, I wrote a post called “You’ve Got A Friend In Me … Sort Of.”  In it, I wrote about how bad I am at friendships.  I always have been, and I thought I always would be.  I set out my standards for my imaginary BFF.  Things that I thought would be exactly what was needed for my new friend and I to get along really well.  They would need to be, well, just like me.  Around my age.  Kids like my kids.  Husband like my husband.  My witty personality wouldn’t hurt either.

I prayed and prayed for God to send me one friend who would fit the bill.  ‘Cause, you know, I’m not sharing.  (That was one of the requirements too.)

Well, of course God does things His own way.

One day, this sweet woman sat across from me and said she’d been praying for her relationships too.  Did I take that as a heavenly gift of mutual friendship?  Nope.  I politely told her that as much as I really liked her as a person, I was on the lookout for someone more in my stage of life.

You can’t make this stuff up, guys.

Fast forward like a month and the light bulb finally went off.  Ding!

So now I have myself some friends!  Oh Happy Day!

My family has been supportive of it too.  In fact, I thought I’d share with you a few of their responses to my new-found friendships:

 “So proud of you for finally making friends!  It only took you 36 years.”

Well, I’m only 35, but I get the point.  Thanks very much, Dear.

“Thanks for giving Mom friends.  Now maybe she’ll get out of the house and actually do something.”

That was during prayer ladies and gentlemen.

“Mom, you should go to camp with your friends.  Friends always bond closer together at camp.”

Actually, that’s a great idea.  We’re looking into it.

“We are stuck up each other’s rear end all the time.  It’s okay if you go do something with your friends.”

That would be my loving and supportive husband.

“Don’t worry, Mom.  We like it when you go out with your friends.  Dad lets us eat whatever we want.”

There’s the little one, always looking on the bright side of things.

And here I felt bad for wanting a little “me” time.  Life is hard, even with Jesus, and that’s why #FriendsAreImportant

-Blessings!

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Travel Responses

by Jody November 13, 2017

The holiday season is upon us and that probably means you will be doing more traveling than usual.  Between shopping and family get-togethers, there’s a good chance you’ll be on the road quite a bit.  And since the holidays are stressful enough, (Which, by the way, isn’t it supposed to be a season of gratitude and peace???) I thought I could help you out with a quick list of “Travel Responses.”

I bet we can all agree that it’s never our driving that causes a problem, it’s other people’s.  So, when you encounter one of those other people that obviously never learned how to drive, you can have a calm and peaceful response to say to them.  Yes, we know they won’t ever hear it, but it will at least make us feel good.

To the Driver Who’s…
Too Fast

Wow.  He must be experiencing an emergency.  I hope he makes it there safely.

Too Slow

Goodness.  He must be having a great, relaxed day, blessed with few worries.

Darting in and out of traffic

That is some amazing handling of that car.  He must be so courageous.

Braking Frequently

I’m happy that they are so concerned with safety.  Perhaps this is a new driver and they are simply nervous.

Pulling out in front of you

Welcome to our lane.  I will slow down just a tad to make you feel like a part of the family.

Making multiple attempts to turn

I can see that you are having trouble remembering where to turn.  No worries.  I understand.

Altering their speed repeatedly

Cruise control is our friend.

Not using the blinker

Perhaps your blinker is broken.  I hope you get that fixed before your next state inspection.  It’s a good thing I’m cautious and observant.

Jamming to very loud music

They must be experiencing much joy right now.

In the Fast Lane with a trailer

I understand that it’s probably stressful to have traffic passing on both sides.  Fear not, I will go around.

And let’s not forget…
To the Children in my car

I’m so excited to be on this trip with you.  Why don’t we say a prayer for blessings?

To my Spouse beside me

Thank you for enduring another trip with me.  Let’s try our best to laugh through the tears.

(Also, P.S. Thank you for driving!!!!)

 

Did I leave any out??

Praying for Safety, Blessings, Peace, and Laughter on all your travels this holiday season!

-Blessings!