#FriendsAreImportant

Turns out, friends really are important.

Some time back, I wrote a post called “You’ve Got A Friend In Me … Sort Of.”  In it, I wrote about how bad I am at friendships.  I always have been, and I thought I always would be.  I set out my standards for my imaginary BFF.  Things that I thought would be exactly what was needed for my new friend and I to get along really well.  They would need to be, well, just like me.  Around my age.  Kids like my kids.  Husband like my husband.  My witty personality wouldn’t hurt either.

I prayed and prayed for God to send me one friend who would fit the bill.  ‘Cause, you know, I’m not sharing.  (That was one of the requirements too.)

Well, of course God does things His own way.

One day, this sweet woman sat across from me and said she’d been praying for her relationships too.  Did I take that as a heavenly gift of mutual friendship?  Nope.  I politely told her that as much as I really liked her as a person, I was on the lookout for someone more in my stage of life.

You can’t make this stuff up, guys.

Fast forward like a month and the light bulb finally went off.  Ding!

So now I have myself some friends!  Oh Happy Day!

My family has been supportive of it too.  In fact, I thought I’d share with you a few of their responses to my new-found friendships:

 “So proud of you for finally making friends!  It only took you 36 years.”

Well, I’m only 35, but I get the point.  Thanks very much, Dear.

“Thanks for giving Mom friends.  Now maybe she’ll get out of the house and actually do something.”

That was during prayer ladies and gentlemen.

“Mom, you should go to camp with your friends.  Friends always bond closer together at camp.”

Actually, that’s a great idea.  We’re looking into it.

“We are stuck up each other’s rear end all the time.  It’s okay if you go do something with your friends.”

That would be my loving and supportive husband.

“Don’t worry, Mom.  We like it when you go out with your friends.  Dad lets us eat whatever we want.”

There’s the little one, always looking on the bright side of things.

And here I felt bad for wanting a little “me” time.  Life is hard, even with Jesus, and that’s why #FriendsAreImportant

-Blessings!

Why We Gave Up on the Disney Channel

Yes, we have given up on the Disney channel.  Don’t get me wrong, I love classic Disney, Disney movies, and even Disney World.  It’s the most magical place on Earth after all!  But have you seen the shows that are “meant” for children coming from the Disney channel lately?  Take a close look.

These shows depict families in which parents are portrayed as imbeciles and the children run the house.  That’s if a parent is present at all.  For example, Jessie has a nanny doing the parenting job.  Suite Life has an absentee mother who only rarely shows up, allowing her sons to run wild around their hotel home.  Those are just a few examples, the last of which was an episode of Walk the Prank where a group of young children sitting at a bar called the adult behind it “pathetic” and “an idiot.”  Excuse me?!  These have all been banned from our house, and none give an honest assessment of how adult/child relationships really occur.

(As a disclaimer, I do realize that there are children who are working to raise themselves and their siblings due to neglect.  These are not the situations being shown.  If they were, I may actually watch that as a teaching tool on the consequences of our decision making and why we are called to show love and kindness to one another.)

To be fair, shows and movies from my childhood weren’t without their faults.  The Simpsons have an idiot dad and an out of control son.  (It also has a “Christian” depicted as an over-the-top nut case, which really did affect the way I viewed Christians as a child.)  There was Blank Check, a movie about a young boy stealing a million dollars and having the time of his life!  Home Alone gave Kevin a new-found freedom from his parents.  Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.  Camp Nowhere.  Goonies!  As a kid, I thought they were great!  How amazing would it be to be in charge of myself?!

(TV Land shows not withstanding.  Those old black and white shows were wonderful!)

The difference is that each one of those ended with the child/ren realizing just how much they really did need their parents.  And that’s big, but you won’t see that in today’s shows.

The problem with that is that this is not a kid’s world.  This is a fallen world full of fallen people.  Our children are prey.  They are preyed upon by people seeking to destroy their innocence and the family unit, people with an agenda.  They are told that it’s okay to grow up quickly, to rebel against leadership, and that they can make it just fine on their own.

Children are subjected to adult themes at younger and younger ages.  Recently I had to make a broad and general ban on any show that had a teenage character in it.  Because if there is a teenager, they will discuss teenage matters, and my two little girls just don’t need to know about that yet.  My girls also don’t need the lie that they don’t need me.

Yes, I a raising capable, independent children like I should be, and even though they can cook and do their own laundry, it doesn’t mean they’re ready to leave the nest just yet.  Because I’m still teaching them how to think.  To think like a follower of Christ.

They don’t need to worry about boy/girl relationships.  They’re still learning what it means to be a good friend.  They don’t need to know about fashion styles and makeup.  We’re learning what it means to be modest.  They don’t need to see the rich and famous glamorized.  They need to know the blessings of being humble.  They certainly don’t need even more of “it’s all about me” when they should be learning how to serve.  And they don’t need to believe that we are equals or even friends.  We’re not.

I love them to no end, but I’m still their parent.  I am the authority figure.  I am the counselor providing guidance.  I am not a friend, contrary to what they see on these shows.

Just the other day I had a long talk with my youngest on what being a friend should look like.  She has been struggling for a while over the treatment that she has been given by others.  (This is not an issue I ever expected to have with an eight year old, but we did address it.)  When we finished our talk, she said, “Thank you for being my friend.”  I have her a big hug and gently said,

I love you very much and you can always come talk to me, but I can’t be your friend.  Not yet.  Right now, I have to be your mommy.  One day, when you are all grown up, we can be really great friends.

And just for the record, they’re not “all grown up” when they’re 16 either.  That’s still not the right time to be their friend.  That’s when they need guidance the most, because that’s when the pressures of this world really set in.  We can be friends after college.  Maybe.

In the mean time, I’m going to be on the lookout for wholesome, family-honoring shows that will come along side me in this parenting thing, perhaps even some in color.

Got any suggestions??